Dear Prudence,
I telecommute, which is a blessing because my husband’s career requires a lot of moving around. The problem is right now we are in a very attractive city to visit and my in-laws are cheap as hell. They are crawling out of the woodwork to “visit” us, a.k.a. demanding I wait on them hand and foot while we go to tourist trap after tourist trap. They are horrible guests and complain about everything and ignore the fact that I actually have to work. I am always on my computer and can’t just ignore my clients because they are bored and can’t figure out the subway system. Before the pandemic, I had it out with my sister-in-law. I warned her I had a 7 a.m. meeting and we were living in a studio at the time. She decided to stay out partying until 2 and then had the gall to complain that I woke her up on her vacation.
This is a huge bone of contention between my husband and me. He doesn’t see the problem just because his family is “difficult,” and they have no problem hosting us when we visit (ignoring that we are expected to pay for every meal and outing as thanks). Plus, my mother and sister visit all the time. But my family actually respects my time and career, and they clean up after themselves. Because I am home, the hosting always falls on me. I am tired of it. I am ready to just check into a hotel myself if my in-laws insist on coming. Please help.
—Hosting Horror