Dear Prudence,
Earlier this year, I got into a heated argument with a well-liked person in my family. I don’t think the argument was unjustified and it happened after they were somewhat belligerent to me. I never said anything terrible, I just stood up for myself. Only three of my family members out of a very large extended family reached out after that. Since then, I have wondered about my feelings about the event—whether I am embarrassed because I know people in my family thought it was embarrassing or whether I feel embarrassed because I feel truly embarrassed. I have not gone to a family gathering since.
However, one of my cousins is hosting Christmas this year and she invited me to her house. I am unsure of whether I am considering not going because of embarrassment or because I just don’t want to be around my family. I have a feeling it will be very awkward. I enjoy many of my family members, but many, especially the older generation, seem a bit ambivalent about me and my life choices. The family member I got into an argument with will not be there and it will mostly be people I like. Do you think I should go?
—Not So Holly-Dolly