Dear Prudence,
I’m 18 and for the past few months have been in a somewhat friendship, somewhat romantic relationship with a 21-year-old (“Morgan”) I met online in 2020. I know how it sounds, but I’d like to think I’ve been careful about it. I’ve taken things slow, only meeting up in public environments at first after confirming their identity over and over, having an exit plan every time, never intentionally doxxing myself, etc. Morgan’s been incredibly understanding, not pressuring me to doxx myself or cut myself off from others or do anything I’m not comfortable with and showing no signs of being predatory. I considered them to be good friends! And then I told my mom about us. Needless to say she did not react well and forbade me from seeing them again, saying internet people are untrustworthy and that my friend easily could have kidnapped/raped/killed me (for the record, Morgan can’t drive and had their mom take them to our meetings). I didn’t even tell her about the romantic aspect of it.
I thought I had been incredibly careful about this. I’ve heard so many horror stories about internet “friends” and took so many precautions as a result to stay safe (this goes for everyone on the internet, not just Morgan). But, although she tends to be overly worried about safety to the point of annoyance, my mom’s reaction is making me think I was wrong to befriend Morgan. So I guess my main question here is if this is unhealthy or manipulative? Is my mom overreacting or should I never have gotten involved with an internet stranger three years older than me? And if my mom is overreacting, is there any way for me to get her to accept this? Morgan has offered multiple times for them and their mom to meet my mom in a mall or restaurant and talk things over. I’d hate to never be able to see Morgan again, but maybe I’m just so in love I ignored all the danger?
—Sincerely Lost