Dear Prudence,
Three years back, some college friends introduced me to “Paige” and “Ryan” during their visit. We initially got along, so I invited them to various events to help them meet new people. It wasn’t long before it was clear that we didn’t connect all that well, so I stopped reaching out. About a year ago, I bumped into them at a friend’s birthday party and impulsively invited them to my annual awards show watch at my place. The plan was to chat about the nominees, fill out our ballots, and watch the show together. But things got awkward when Paige’s behavior became really disruptive. She polished off a whole bottle of champagne by herself, was excessively loud during the show, and kept picking aggressive arguments during our post-show discussion. It weirded everyone out that she was sloppily “partying” while we were essentially having a chill book club-style gathering. Everyone was uneasy, and we cut the party short.
I felt so embarrassed about how her actions derailed my gathering and made my guests uncomfortable. I never got around to addressing her inappropriate behavior, and though she has reached out a few times about meeting up over the last year, I chose not to respond, which I regret. Now, I’m anticipating seeing them again at the same friend’s birthday party. I can already see the two of them being cluelessly cheerful and saying how great it is to see each other and that we should hang out soon, can’t wait for the next awards party, etc. But I’m seriously put off by them and feel like I need to say something definitive. What should I do?
—Best Boundaries