Dear Prudence,
I paid off my town house after my husband passed away. It has two bedrooms and the location is amazing given the public transportation and excellent school district. Given how insanely expensive the cost of living has gotten, it was a smart financial move. I met my new boyfriend because his daughter is my (daughter's) best friend. The girls are so often together that we joke we should just move in together already and save on rent. The problem is my boyfriend has two adult children from another relationship (ages 19 and 20) that constantly crash at his apartment when they are in between jobs and relationships, but never contribute to the household. My boyfriend doesn’t like their behavior but makes no effort to address it. I obviously don’t want them doing the same in my house.
We keep going around in circles. He argues that his kids are his kids and deserve a place under our roof and the solution is to rent out the townhouse and us to rent a house together. My argument is that there is nothing that fits that criteria even remotely close. It would require us both a much longer commute and have the girls switch schools when they can walk here. It doesn’t make sense to completely upend our lives to have a guest room that will only be temporarily filled. I told him I supported him splitting the difference in what his rent costs him now and what we agreed on to help his other kids out, but a move was out of bounds for me. His lease is up in a few months and looking at another steep increase. I love him but his oldest two don’t want to go to school or get real jobs. What is the solution?
—House Hunting