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Wedding Woes

Forget your sister, it's time to kiss your landlord's ass.

Dear Prudence,

I live in an apartment with very thin walls and try my hardest to be a good neighbor since the rent is low here and most of the building is elderly. My sister, her boyfriend, and his two kids came to stay with me because they were in-between housing. It was supposed to be for two weeks. They didn’t even make it six days. The kids screamed, slammed doors, and seemed incapable of not stomping. The minute I reminded them to be quiet, they looked at me, said okay, and went right back to acting like little banshees. Their father did nothing and acted annoyed when I asked him to control his kids.

Twice my neighbors came to me with complaints and twice I asked my sister and her boyfriend to please respect my space. They were staying here for free rather than going to a hotel. The third time the boyfriend got in my face and said kids make noise and I would just have to deal with it like everyone else. At this, I told my sister the arrangement was not working and they needed to go

My sister freaked out on me and started to scream at me. Then her boyfriend joined in and one of my neighbors called the cops. The end result was they all left and my landlord gave me a written warning that he wasn’t going to renew my lease because of the incident. I can’t afford to move out and I am utterly furious at my sister. She told me it serves me right. My life is an utter mess. What should I do?

—Disaster in Dallas

Re: Forget your sister, it's time to kiss your landlord's ass.

  • Start apologizing to your landlord but also....learn your lesson.

    What are you gaining by being in a relationship with a sister who acts like that?? 
  • Apologize to your neighbors and to your landlord. If it was bad enough the cops were called it’s time to try and save your living situation. 

    You should also limit how much support you give your sister. She’s out and that’s good but given how she treated you and your home- how do you want your relationship to work moving forward. 
  • If you can salvage this with your landlord, try.  An honest letter about how you've been a good tenant, this was an unusual situation and one you don't intend to replicate, and you've proven it b/c you've been a good tenant since, etc.  And now, your sister is no longer ever invited to your space.  If they're not willing to go for it, start looking for a new place immediately, you really have no choice.

    Then examine your relationship with your sister.  This is outrageous behavior for someone that you've extended hospitality to and she was obviously part of the problem.
  • It certainly doesn't hurt to talk to her landlord and see if he will rescind the lease termination.

    But another huge problem with this from the landlord's side is she let people live there who aren't on the lease.  Maybe she had permission.  Maybe her lease doesn't exclude long-term guests.  But each of those things is very unlikely.

    I have a clause in all my leases that guests can't stay for longer than 7 consecutive days or 14 days in a month, without discussing it with me and getting an okay.  I'm also open to guests living there temporarily or being added to the lease, but they need to go through the same background check process.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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