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Make an actual plan with a date and time.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I travel regularly to a city where I used to live for work. I’ll usually let friends know when I’ll be in town and a day or days when I could meet for dinner, coffee, or a drink. They’ll say they’re excited, but neither of us follow through on making plans. I assume they’ll let me know what works from what I’ve offered and I try to be as flexible as possible since I’m just dropping in. I like seeing friends, but making plans is not my forte and I’m not very persistent. Should I give them fewer choices and/or be more specific? Is the onus on me to make sure we see each other, or have I done enough and we’ll try again next time?

—Social but Lazy

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Re: Make an actual plan with a date and time.

  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    If you’re there regularly, and during the work week, it might be hard to make plans. That said- I’d be more specific like “I’d love to have dinner Tuesday night or if that doesn’t work lunch on Wednesday. Let me know if either of those work and I’ll make reservations.” Not being good at making plans is a cop-out. If you want to see your friends make plans. If you’re cool waiting until next time then that’s fine too. 
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    charlotte989875 said:
    If you’re there regularly, and during the work week, it might be hard to make plans. That said- I’d be more specific like “I’d love to have dinner Tuesday night or if that doesn’t work lunch on Wednesday. Let me know if either of those work and I’ll make reservations.” Not being good at making plans is a cop-out. If you want to see your friends make plans. If you’re cool waiting until next time then that’s fine too. 
    Exactly this. Make specific plans before you even get to your destination. Don't just wing it or leave it to figuring things out while you're there. Be proactive and remember that a lot of people's schedules don't allow for last minute plans.
    image
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I have been making more of an effort, and I have asked my friends to make more of an effort, to approach each other with actual plans.  "I'd like to see this movie on this day at this time, are you available?"  It's not easy to do for anyone, but honestly, it's the only way things are going to be able to work for most people.  LW needs to do the same.
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