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Wedding Woes

Why not just go with the flow for now?

Dear Prudence,

In five months, I’ll be graduating from college and moving across the country. I’m super excited about that. I also just met a guy two months ago and every time we’ve run into each other, we end up sitting together for hours talking. We talk about everything; he’s always interested in my thoughts from cooking to philosophical questions. I also ask him these sorts of questions. I think he likes me as he can’t stop looking at me in group settings and others say he starts smiling brightly when he sees me. I feel really happy when I think of him. The issue is he’s a junior so we’ll be separated by a six-hour plane ride next year. What sort of relationship structure should I propose since there’s a clear end date but I want to get involved with him romantically?

—December-to-May Romance

Re: Why not just go with the flow for now?

  • The cart is way out ahead of the horse here. You seem to be into each other so date. See where it goes. See if you like each other as much in a relationship as you do when you’re flirting. See if you even have romantic chemistry before making a relationship model that it’s even necessary for months. 
  • I was in a similar situation when I was in college.  I started dating a guy toward the end of my last Fall semester, but my very last semester was that Spring.

    We casually dated during that time and into the summer.  But neither one of us wanted get into a serious relationship because I didn't know for sure when I was moving out of state.  Just that I definitely was.

    It would be different if I was older and more willing to purposefully make a plan to end up with my LDR.  But in my early 20s, there is no way I'd be doing that with so much uncertainty.

    Even assuming they end up being a serious item, which is a big "if", he could get a job after graduating that takes him even further away.  That would be too much risk for me of things not working out.  But other peoples' thoughts and feelings on it might be very different and just as valid.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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