Dear Prudence,
I broke up with “Jon” because our lives were incompatible. He wanted kids and I didn’t. We broke up with no hard feelings and he ended up getting married to “Sue” a mutual friend of ours. We all drifted apart. I traveled and worked overseas while Jon and Sue settled down and had a son together. Jon recently reconnected with me over social media. He confessed his marriage was a sham, he wanted to leave but couldn’t because of his son, and never had it so good as when we were together. He wanted to meet up and relive our good times together. I messaged Jon that wasn’t a good idea and he needed to turn inward to find the solution to his unhappiness whether it was marriage counseling or a divorce. I would have just left it at that.
My dilemma is that on social media, Sue and Jon announced they were trying for another baby after Sue last miscarried. The miscarriage was right around the time that Jon was messaging me. I was never close to Sue but I would definitely want to know if my partner was trying to cheat on me while I was going through a medical crisis. I certainly wouldn’t want to leave someone in the lurch with a kindergartener and baby while their partner played around but I am also leery of getting shot as the messenger here. What should I do? Make an anonymous post to Sue’s social media that she needs to check on Jon because he is trying to cheat on her? Tell Sue directly? I haven’t told any of our friends because I don’t want the story to get out without me wanting it.
—Right in the DMs