Dear Prudence,
My late uncle tried to make a go of keeping our family farm up and running, but he barely ended up breaking even. Most of his income came from mineral rights and renting out the land to a RV park. I had a fast-paced career that paid well but was burning me up, so when he died, I offered to buy his wife and daughters out of the property. They agreed. I sold most of the acreage to developers but kept the main farm and barn, which I turned into an event center. I used my previous business skills to make it very successful. The pandemic put a serious dent in my business and savings; only now am I starting to get back in the black.
My cousin announced her engagement and her “dream” to get married “on her farm” at Thanksgiving. She did not ask me. And frankly, I have no desire to get roped into this. My aunt and cousins have all been very vocal about sticking their noses into my business about the farm, from selling off the land to remodeling the farmhouse. They all made a tidy sum off the sale and retained the mineral rights. They aren’t hurting money-wise.
I will be expected to comp and cover all the local expenses for this wedding because we’re “family.” This was their “home.” I would just lie and say I am solidly booked for the next two years but I have in the past offered cancellations to friends and other family members for their events. But they actually paid me. What are my options here other than being the family ghost for the next few years? My aunt and cousins will invoke the shade of my uncle and grandparents as a pure attempt at emotional manipulation—and my family will fall for it.
—Family Farm