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OMG, stop this madness.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

My best friend and I have been BFFs for 35 years. We don’t live close anymore, and so I get to see her only once or twice a year. The last time I saw her, I said something truly awful. It wasn’t about her, but it must have been terrible for her to hear. I’m so ashamed. I apologized immediately, and she said to forget about it and that I wasn’t wrong. But I can’t forget about it. It’s eating me up.

I’m going to stay with her over Christmas, and I feel I need to apologize again, to show her that I didn’t just apologize quickly and move on; I’m truly sorry. But that would bring the awful topic up again, and I’m sure she doesn’t want to have that conversation a second time. I know that apologizing just to be forgiven is not a real apology, but I can’t tell if my hesitation is me being considerate or just being afraid. Do I apologize and head back to Awkward Land? Or pretend it never happened and stay on Illusion Island a while longer?

—Sorry Friend

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Re: OMG, stop this madness.

  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2023
    Stop apologizing. She acknowledged your apology and asked you to forget it, so you need to leave it alone. Apologizing again doesn’t help he. It only helps assuage your guilt, which isn’t on her to do. Sit with how you feel, understand why you did it, and don’t do it again. But bringing it up over and over is to make you feel better- not her. And she’s the one you hurt. 
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yeah just move on, because apparently she got over it if you were invited over?

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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It's clearly just to make the LW feel better.  Not out of consideration.  It would just hurt their friend to remind them about it again.  The friend has let it go, or at least says they have, so the LW needs to also.
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    She said to forget it. Nobody can tell you whether she meant it or not. But for the sake of your friendship, take her at her word and don't dredge it all up again.
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Letter writer owes us all an apology for not sharing what the thing was. 
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