Dear Prudence,
I (38F) grew up the only girl of five siblings. During those years, I found it did me little good to become grossed out at every little thing the boys did, and now, I’m able to tolerate a wide range of behavior and conditions. But I’m concerned that this dubious skillset has clouded my judgment about an issue I’m having with my partner, “Luke,” who is, of course, ideal in every way except one.
Luke is a great guy who prides himself on excellent hygiene and impeccable manners. Unlike me, he’s also unduly embarrassed by random bodily functions. Any such emissions from him pass unremarked upon by either of us in order to spare him embarrassment (although I’ve assured him over and over that it’s totally normal). Recently, I quit smoking, and my sense of smell has dramatically improved. Thanks to this, I have just discovered that apparently, Luke pays dearly for withstanding such pressure during the day—and now I’m paying for it, too. When Luke is asleep and relaxed, the expressions of his digestive system could peel paint.
When I smoked, I had no idea this was going on. But now, I can’t be in half of our house when Luke has, um, issues to work through in his sleep. It’s as if my sinuses are being power-washed with a mixture of rotten eggs and skunk spray. Luke would be mortified to know this. I don’t want to embarrass him, but frankly, I just want this insidious stench sent back to Hell, where it came from. I’m open to anything from having him take Beano to using charcoal filtering sheets, or perhaps I could hire a stunt double for bedtime? Is it fair for me to ask this of him? After all, it’s a normal human function. Am I being selfish? Should I just buy the Beano and tell him fairly that everyone could use it? What is the kindest thing to do here?’
—Sleepless in SoCal