Dear Prudence,
My mother always encouraged me to follow my interests and not get trapped in what society thinks a woman needs to be (make up, heels, etc). She was my biggest cheerleader when I was getting my master’s degree, but now that I am married, the only topic on hand is when am I giving her grandbabies! My husband and I are leaning towards a “no” on the subject between the goals we want to achieve and our own difficulties, but the persistence of my mother is driving me straight to “no way in hell.”
She will not drop the subject to matter how much I ask, ignore, or redirect. Conversations with her leave me exhausted and feeling hunted. She goes between the most blanket lies like “she will raise the baby for us” to the most ridiculous like “having a baby is a solid retirement plan!” I had to go on several walks during Thanksgiving because I was so fed up with the subject, and I didn’t want to cause a fight. My mother is someone I used to talk to every other day, and now I just duck her calls because I know what the subject will be. It is like she doesn’t love me anymore—not my virtues, not my vices; I’m just a vessel for grandchildren. What do I do here?
—Good Enough