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Wedding Woes

Be kind and keep their confidence

Dear Prudence,

My wife and I have two very good friends who are going through a separation and potentially a divorce. We are very close to both of them. I’ve talked to both separately, and can see both sides of the issues, and where the perceived and actual faults are. We may be the only friends of the couple that are talking to both. I don’t want to take sides though, and want to figure out how we can be the best possible friend to both—even when they may have been infidelity. I’m not sure how to navigate this.

—Not Sure How to Deal

Re: Be kind and keep their confidence

  • Just listen to them without passing judgement. 


  • H and I were in a similar situation. We were like family with this couple - we are God parents to their children and they are God parents to ours. We just listened and didn't judge. We stayed friends with both of them. They have both remarried, and we aren't as close of friends anymore because they have new couple friends. However we still see the wife (and do sporadic social stuff) because we go to the same church. The movement away from each other was just a natural occurence.
  • You don’t have to choose sides.  You can be friends with both. 

  • You don’t take sides by not taking sides. Listen, be there to support, don’t pass judgment to either of them. You be there by being there. 
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