Dear Prudence,
I am a single mom struggling to make ends meet. I have two teenage sons who are basically hollow legs. When I go grocery shopping, I always stop to say hi to “Mary.” Mary does the markdowns and will usually point out the great deals or specials for me. Getting a bunch of frozen pizzas for less than a third of the price puts me back in the black. I made the mistake of mentioning Mary to my mother. My mother works full-time and is the primary caregiver for my grandmother. She has little time for herself.
Well, my mother tracked down Mary and Mary helped her find several expensive foods that my grandmother could actually eat that had been reduced in price. She advised my mother about keeping track of when the items get reduced and when the best time is to shop. My mother tried to treat Mary like her own personal shopper. She would call up the store asking for Mary and try to get her to set aside the deals (which is against store policy). Mary was sympathetic and did it a few times—only my mother refused to show up when she said she would. It would be hours after Mary’s shift ended and the food was put back on the floor. So my mother decided to complain to the store manager and got Mary written up!
I didn’t find any of this out until I went grocery shopping again and spoke with Mary. She bitterly explained what happened and I realized it was my mother. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole, I was so embarrassed. When I confronted my mother, she didn’t think she did anything wrong. Her time is apparently more valuable than a retail worker and Mary had offered to help. My outlook on my mother is completely different now. I am just aghast that she thinks this way. I want to make it up to Mary somehow but every gesture feels hollow. What should I do, if anything?
—No Good Deed