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Ways to make guests feel included at reception-only wedding

knottie16ff7afc3da0f1b6knottie16ff7afc3da0f1b6 member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hello all! This question is more about inclusion than etiquette but I hope it’s the right place to post anyway! 

My fiance and I are both very introverted and don’t like a ton of eyes on us at once. In not wanting to feel uncomfortable at our own wedding, we  decided to do a ceremony separate from the reception with only our parents and MAYBE a few more immediate family members. We will likely do this a day or 2 before the wedding itself.

i was wondering if anyone can suggest little things we can do at the reception to make our guests feel more included in the sentimentality aspect that is normally associated with the ceremony part of the wedding. As of now we are planning to do an entrance and then a speech thanking everyone for coming together to celebrate our marriage, followed by our first dance, then toasts. 



in the invites I  plan to write  - “please join us to celebrate our marriage” - so it’s clear there is no ceremony. Despite being reserved and private about what will be a very emotional moment for both of us (meaning the ceremony) I want our guests to know how much we value and love them, so am looking for ways to do that that still honor the boundaries FH and I agreed upon. Any suggestions?
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Re: Ways to make guests feel included at reception-only wedding

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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Just make sure their needs are met with good food and drinks of sufficient quality, plenty of good conversation, sufficient seating, protection from the elements and working accessible restrooms. Also be sure to tell all your guests directly how much you love and value them.

    Doing these things should get your message across.
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    ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Your wedding is the ceremony itself not the reception. The reception is to thank guests for attending the wedding. You are having a party (which is fine) but word your invite as such. They aren't being invited to a wedding or reception. As far as making your guests feel welcome, I agree with @Jen4948.
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    knottie16ff7afc3da0f1b6knottie16ff7afc3da0f1b6 member
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    lol I am not playing by these Helen from Bridesmaids rules. The reception is the same day as the ceremony. Theyre both the wedding. You don’t make the rules. 
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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    knottie16ff7afc3da0f1b6 said:
    lol I am not playing by these Helen from Bridesmaids rules. The reception is the same day as the ceremony. Theyre both the wedding. You don’t make the rules. 
    This isn't a 'make the rules' discussion.  The wedding is where you get married.  The party is the reception.  Proceeding with alternative bridal facts paves the road with less than appropriate intentions and it's important to note what is and isn't appropriate on an etiquette board of all places. 
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    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    The reception is not the wedding. The ceremony is in fact the actual wedding. 
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    MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    knottie16ff7afc3da0f1b6 said:
    Hello all! This question is more about inclusion than etiquette but I hope it’s the right place to post anyway! 

    My fiance and I are both very introverted and don’t like a ton of eyes on us at once. In not wanting to feel uncomfortable at our own wedding, we  decided to do a ceremony separate from the reception with only our parents and MAYBE a few more immediate family members. We will likely do this a day or 2 before the wedding itself.

    i was wondering if anyone can suggest little things we can do at the reception to make our guests feel more included in the sentimentality aspect that is normally associated with the ceremony part of the wedding. As of now we are planning to do an entrance and then a speech thanking everyone for coming together to celebrate our marriage, followed by our first dance, then toasts. 



    in the invites I  plan to write  - “please join us to celebrate our marriage” - so it’s clear there is no ceremony. Despite being reserved and private about what will be a very emotional moment for both of us (meaning the ceremony) I want our guests to know how much we value and love them, so am looking for ways to do that that still honor the boundaries FH and I agreed upon. Any suggestions?


    “lol I am not playing by these Helen from Bridesmaids rules. The reception is the same day as the ceremony. Theyre both the wedding. You don’t make the rules”.


    Did you not say in your original post that the wedding will be “a day or two before” the party?

    Your invitation should state that guests are being invited to celebrate the marriage of X and X which occurred on (date).

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    MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    The day of your legal wedding IS your wedding and those in attendance need to be properly hosted that day.  That is your wedding reception.  

    Your "Celebration of Marriage" Party is not a Pretty Princess Day where you have all things get dressed up in a wedding gown for a fake ceremony (which that is - unless it's a Sacramental Marriage taking place in a church/mosque/synagogue such as a couple getting married at The Vatican is required to be legally married in their home country before their Sacramental Marriage... and they're also asked to adhere to rules relating to the sacramental rite..).   Your guests will resent the fact that you didn't consider them important enough to invite to the actual wedding where you became legally married to get all dressed up for a fake ceremony to each other which is going to bring a lot of unwanted attention when they find out as much!  The reason is because they're going to the expense of attending to see you legally/sacramentally wed, not a fake event.  Be honest and upfront with your guests that you're having a "Celebration of Marriage party" on that different date, it then becomes a party and not gift grabbing event.  If you have to fake wanting these others involved, consider skipping any event like that altogether.  It's okay to not have that unwanted attention, especially that which comes with fake events that you act like you wanted people involved/included, that's not introversion...  
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