How do I remind my husband how miserable we were vacationing in the same house as his family, without seeming like I hate his family? For the record, I do not.
We went away with them last year and stayed together in one house, and no one but his sister and her boyfriend enjoyed themselves. His sister constantly dumped care of her stepdaughter on someone else, and they are a family of dramatic tempers. One house, no matter how big, just does not give enough room for them all to separate from each other when they inevitably start picking and arguing. It was also miserable being confined to one bedroom when our two small children would not sleep well and we didn’t want to wake others. After the trip, we discussed it and said that in the future we would travel to the same location, but get our own separate place to stay. My husband’s parents ended up telling us that they also did not enjoy themselves. They said in the future they would prefer to bring their camper with a bed they know works for them and stay nearby.
My sister-in-law just reached out to everyone with a house to rent for this summer. My in-laws immediately agreed to it. My husband said he thinks it will be fine, because this time we would have two bedrooms. I said no and reminded him of how unhappy we all were on “vacation” last year. I told him I will ultimately leave it to him to decide, since it is his family, but if he agrees, I will not be coming on the vacation. I think for him this is just normal, because vacations growing up always included large extended families with lots of blowouts and disagreements. I, on the other hand, actually want my vacations—which I don’t get very many of—to be relaxing. So what can I do? I have two weeks to remind him that this is not what he wanted, and to actually have my vacation with my family.
—Stressed Out in Scottsdale