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Monday

ei34ei34 member
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in Wedding Woes
In first period (Adaptive PE with the Life Skills students) a very hard working (aka sweaty) and affectionate student embraced me and rubbed his wet forehead across mine as we were walking back to class.  May all of our weeks reflect the gesture of fun without the cringiness   :D
How was everyone's weekend?
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Re: Monday

  • ei34ei34 member
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    My weekend was frustrating/happy.  The frustration is of course from really the only negative source in my life, exH.  Saturday was his birthday and his tomfoolery reached new heights.  End result is the kids got to celebrate with him, which was what was important to them, but after me driving back and forth 2x, him cursing me out over the phone, telling 187453 lies, making the kids feel bad, etc.  I don't fault the kids in any way, he's their dad and they love him, but (rhetorical question, unless anyone has parents who suck and wouldn't mind sharing) at what age do kids start realizing "wow, mom/dad/adult-in-my-life-who's-supposed-to-make-it-better-not-worse is selfish, inconsistent, a pathological liar, narcissistic, always plays the victim, angry etc"?  Someone say late childhood/tween years bc I don't know how many more years of this I have in me.  (Yes, I've suggested post-separation and co-parenting counseling and he refuses.)

    But, rant over.  Saturday was also my niece's 2nd birthday, and she's totally in toddler phase and just as cute as can be.  One of her gifts was a pink purse with coordinating pink plastic keys, a flip phone, credit card and lipstick, she kept proudly showing everyone, it was so sweet.  The kids rocked their swim meet yesterday and I was able to get check off my to-do list.  I feel like I could use a day to decompress so toying with a sick day at some point.
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    @ei34, I will say that my MIL is notoriously difficult and it's no secret in the family - to the point that years ago DH's now uncle asked out MIL and she went to a party, FIL met her and they started to date and DH's uncle "got even" with FIL by asking out FIL's sister.  FIL didn't give too hoots and both couples are together over 50 years later.  But now everyone refers to the uncle as having 'dodged a bullet'.

    I can tell you that by the time I met DH and we were in college he'd had plenty of feelings about his mom.  I don't think she is the same as your X and will fully admit that she has embraced therapy but there are sill major issues that she has when people close to her do not do what she wants.  And I'll also say that my teenager has picked up on issues with her and those started about 2-3 years ago just in terms of things that were said that make her uncomfortable.   

    It's different for everyone but especially since your kids live with you primarily I have to believe it will be sooner.  Aren't your children also developing active social lives?  The other thing that can sort of stick out is when the actions of parent are seen by the child as detrimental to the social life or interest.    If there are plays, concerts, etc and he's a no show or he is demanding of their presence when they want to be with friends and he's not the one who will say, "Well cool let's get together with your friend AND your dad!" then they also start to see through it.   How old are your kiddos?  Older elementary school right?? 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    Weekend went well!  So @ei34 DH's birthday was Saturday!  I promise I didn't marry your X!

    My first gift to DH was letting him sleep in and I took Chiquito to his 9 AM basketball game.  They won their first game!  Kiddo was so cute and he said, "I think we won because it's Dad's birthday."  We got home and I prepped grilled cheese (made fancy ones w/ gruyere and brie and chives) and then MIL and FIL came over for lunch.  Once DH turned about 25 MIL declared that they would stop exchanging birthday gifts (read: she's cheap) and so they stopped by with a card and a cheese spread from a place he likes.  I'll say it was thoughtful but I do have to laugh at them.    Chiquito and I ran out quickly because there was a celebratory ice cream date for the basketball team so I left DH with his parents and Chiquita.

    For the afternoon the dudes worked on their cars, I cleaned and then Chiquita babysat while we had dinner out at a new place in town.  It was delicious and we came home, sang to him with Carvel cake and then watched a couple episodes of What We Do In The Shadows.  

    Sunday was Mass ending with a general blessing of the throats in honor of St. Blaise, more Pinewood Derby car work and then Chiquita had a basketball game.  We got home, chowed and then DH and I watched the Grammys.  I had to hold back tears watching Joni Mitchell and was pretty thrilled for Taylor Swift. 
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    Oh @ei34 I’m so sorry. 

    I think kids know something is different with their parents far earlier than we expect them too. At least I did. My dad is an alcoholic and narcissist, I think I was in first or second grade the first time my mom had us go to counseling because of his drinking. I knew there was something different, and not in a good way, about my dad then even if I didn’t know exactly what it was. I knew he got angrier than other dads and wasn’t as kind, or loving, or affectionate as I saw my friends dads. I was probably middle school when I understood about alcoholism. 

    I also knew my mom wasn’t like my dad. So I think your kids know more than they think they do or can express. At least I did. 
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    @ei34 I feel like I knew fairly early on that my bio-parents weren't normal.  Also, I went to live with my maternal grandparents when I was in the 3rd grade?  I honestly can't remember how that happened, but then I went back to my bio-parents.  After being with my stable grandparents, I definitely knew my bio parents weren't what I had with my grandparents or the other kids had in their parents.

    The weekend was decent.  I didn't do much except household chores and seeing my mom.  I have some friends who are really going through hell in personal and professional spheres right now and I'm trying to be there for them.  I've had to assert some boundaries though, which were respected and followed, but I still have some guilt over having to say, "I need a break from this."  But that's my issue, not theirs.

    I have a movie ticket for every day this week.  We'll see if I make it to all of them.  Tonight is Man in the Moon, then the rest are all of the Matrix movies.
    �
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
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    Weekend was good. Friday afternoon was a good bye party for our Y executive director. That was fun but bittersweet. No one wanted to see her leave. Saturday was low key along with agility class for the pup. We started watching two new shows this weekend - Masters of the Air and Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Sunday was totally chill - church the I read all day! I finished my friend book club book and now need to start our church one. They are Paris Library and American Dirt if anyone is interested. I also finished another book and Friday - Book Spies. The two I finished were very good and I would recommend them.
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    @ei34 I asked DH and he was in HS when he pieced together that it was a full on pattern of behavior. 
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  • CasadenaCasadena member
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    Hugs to everyone dealing with difficult family situations. It really sucks. 

    This morning was a rough start to the day. I was crying just as hard as one of my kids at dropoff. Everyone's fine now, but not how I wanted our week to start. Weekend was great though - lots of outside time finally!
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  • CasadenaCasadena member
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    anyone heard from @climbingsingle or @missJeanLouise lately? Seems like it's been awhile. 
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    @ei34, overall, I had great parents growing up so it definitely isn't the same thing.  But I started seeing their failings and that they didn't always know best when I was in high school.

    It's sad because my mom was a wonderful parent to me as a child.  But she's been pretty shitty to me and done hurtful things as an adult.  Those first inklings started in HS.  I'm not totally blameless, but my only "sin" has been to be more neglectful of our relationship than I should be.  But then it's a vicious cycle of the more she hurts me, the less I motivated I am to stay in touch.

    Yesterday and especially last night were bad times in the @short+sassy household.  Izzy was constantly throwing up last night.  She had seemed really listless on Saturday, so I guess her stomach had been bothering her since then.  I did get her normal food on Friday, so I don't think it was anything she ate.

    I felt listless myself on Sunday.  I didn't feel bad, but just had no motivation or energy to do anything.  The tiniest things took such effort.  Then I wasn't tired at all last night.  I finally went to bed at 3am, but was still up at least an hour later.  I was also really cold, which didn't help.  I probably only got about 2 hours of sleep last night.  I felt like death warmed over this morning and was having issues with my stomach for the first hew hours, though at least that seems to have subsided.  At least it is one of my WFH days.

    Crazy weather in NOLA on Saturday.  There was significant flooding all over town, due to especially heavy rains that lasted a solid 2 hours.  Officials anticipated how bad Sat. night would be and moved the night time Mardi Gras parades to 9:30am.  Wise call.  Later that night, parts of the parade route were a few feet underwater.

    My house is on one of the sightly higher points in the city so I'm safe and sound.  The human eye can't tell it's higher.  But I'll tell you what, the water knows.  It flows downhill away from us.
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
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    @ei34 I know all kids are different but they do learn that at a young age.  My friend has a deadbeat ex who fled the country to not pay child support and sends a cookie basket for each birthday.  That’s it.  They range from 9-13 snd trust me, they know what kind of “man” he is and don’t want to have anything to do with him.  My friend would never talk bad about him because she always wanted that relationship with them.
    sorry to hear about the cat @levioosa, I would be upset too. 

    Madonna was a.w.e.s.o.m.e. We got there a bit before 9:30.  She started right at 9:50.  I thought the show was great.  She sang all her greatest hits.  What’s not to like? My coworker went to the show the night before and said it was awful.  Weird and satanic. Ummm Madonna didn’t become controversial from being on the straight and narrow lol. And one song was darker and she wore a black robe for it.  I can’t remember the song.  I wouldn’t say the concert was satanic though.  My coworker even had FREE suite tickets from her friend with free food and drinks and complained about the entire show.  Me, poor lady that I am had nosebleed 300 section and LOVED it.  It’s all a matter of opinion I guess. 

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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    @levioosa, I'm so sorry about your all's kitty!  Sounds like she had a nice little setup in the garage.

    We have about 3-4 ferals who hang out around my neighbor's house.  She has a nice cat house set up on her porch.  With a little nook for each of them.  Warm bedding and a roof over their heads.  But her house is raised and they usually just hang out under it during bad weather.  With a possum friend, lol.
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  • kerbohlkerbohl member
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    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    Weekend was good. Friday afternoon was a good bye party for our Y executive director. That was fun but bittersweet. No one wanted to see her leave. Saturday was low key along with agility class for the pup. We started watching two new shows this weekend - Masters of the Air and Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Sunday was totally chill - church the I read all day! I finished my friend book club book and now need to start our church one. They are Paris Library and American Dirt if anyone is interested. I also finished another book and Friday - Book Spies. The two I finished were very good and I would recommend them.
    American Dirt was so good!  So sad though.  The Paris Library sounds familiar, that might be in my stack of books...

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