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Attire & Accessories Forum

Wedding dress identity crisis

Hello all, I am hoping to get some advice about my wedding dress as I feel like I'm losing my mind a little. I went to try on dresses on 12/23/23 in the city where my fiance's family lives as we were in town for the holidays and I loved the bridal shop. Experience was great! I tried on maybe 10 dresses and had my mom, MIL and maid of honor on video chat. It was difficult because all the dresses looked really great on me and I loved most of them. I narrowed it down to two, both of which I really loved and were quite different. One was lacy, soft aline, ivory over champagne coloring. The other was a soft ballgown and was a wine color. I originally went in wanting some, or full color to the dress. I ended up purchasing the white one because it was beautiful and the people in my group seemed to like it the best (i.e., felt it was most flattering). Fast forward one week and I couldn't stop looking at pictures of the wine colored one and sort of regretting not getting it. So I called the store to see if they could change the order since it was the same bridal designer. They said they could and it wasn't a problem so that's what I did. Later that night my fiance was expressing that he had like the white one more because he isn't a fan of ballgowns so now I'm feeling like maybe I've made a huge mistake and will end up with something he hates and people don't find flattering on me. I'm considering calling and being a huge pain in the ass to switch it back. I'm never usually this crazy or have difficulty making decisions so I'm feeling very distressed. Any advice appreciated. 

Re: Wedding dress identity crisis

  • Consider the same saying for Wedding Dresses as it applies to all other clothes in your closet "If you have to talk yourself into wearing it, it's not the one to get (you'll never wear it)!"...  How many clothes in your closet do you never wear (or eventually donate) because you talked yourself into buying them in the first place.  

    Consider becoming a "Two dress Bride" - wear one for the ceremony then change into the other for the reception.  Or - wear one for the Rehearsal and the other for the wedding.  Most of all - the only person's opinion of "What you should look like on your wedding day" that matters - IS YOU!!!  That said - if you decide to go that route and purchase a second dress, take the people you were facetiming with instead and give it a little time between now and then because instead of walking away to give yourself some time to discern what YOU want, the decision made was using more peer pressure, impulse, and emotion which bridal shops prey on.   
  • I know how you feel, this is your big day, and it’s making you a bit anxious. When I picked my dress, I only brought my fiancé, who is not very opinionated about my choices, unless they are really outrageous. Having other people around can mess with my judgment and stress me out trying to satisfy everyone. I suggest you choose the one that you really love and that makes you feel gorgeous.
  • edited February 2024
    Wow. Having your fiancé with you takes away part of the surprise. But I partially understand doing that. There are a few surveys of men that were done to see what they like and don't like in wedding dresses. That can help without taking away the surprise. I don't remember these addressing colors though. They still we be enamored at seeing you. 
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