Dear Prudence,
We are a (co-ed) group of elderly friends who have a regular doubles tennis game. One of our members is incredibly hard on himself—curses, throws his racquet, and desperately wants to win. He never seems to be enjoying himself, and as a result, the rest of us get frustrated with him as well. The thing is, his anger is exclusively internally directed. He never criticizes anyone else, he’s warm to everyone, asks after the grandkids, thanks everyone for playing, etc. We’ve tried to gently say, “Harold, it’s just a game!” but he shrugs it off. If he were a jerk to everyone, we might feel OK about kicking him out of the game, but he’s a nice guy, he’s just really driven. But we’re all having a lousy time playing with him. How do we handle this?
—Getting Tired of the Game