Dear Prudence,
My 17-year-old son and I do not have a relationship. I am considering kicking him out in a few months when he turns 18, although I’m not sure yet if I’ll actually do it. He yells and curses at me constantly, doesn’t clean up after himself, does whatever he wants without regards to others, has been expelled from school due to fighting, and recently has been caught shoplifting. For my part, I have also done wrong. I was a harsh parent. I yelled a lot when he was growing up, and I believed in corporal punishment and perfection. At this point, it is what it is. I wish we could start over but this is our sad, sad life…
I never talk about my child to others. My coworker has no children and I love to talk to her. She is the only coworker who doesn’t bring up children in conversations. I always assumed she was child-free by choice. Well, yesterday, she confided in me that she’s infertile. She wants children so badly it breaks her heart. She told me she always enjoyed talking to me because I never bring up kids, but she wanted to tell me about it as we’ve become closer, from just coworkers to friends. She even said she knows I’m a good mom because I’m a good person (ha! If only). I want to scream. I want to tell her she is so lucky. I want to tell her to stop being sad, not having kids is the best thing that could’ve happened to her. I want to tell her I am a horrible mom who created a horrible kid. I am actually in disbelief that she is sad about this. But obviously my thoughts are horrible. How do I support my friend?
—Horrible Mom