Dear Prudence,
I (29/F, straight) met my boyfriend (28/M, straight) last summer after having a “meet cute,” and we made things official after about two months of dating. We’ve now been in a committed relationship for four months. So far, this has been the most loving, adventurous, and fun-filled relationship I’ve ever had. He is a great guy—a sweet, goofy, devoted, go-with-the flow, but also very scatter-brained “golden retriever boyfriend” type (very Type B personality); whereas I’m more of a “black cat girlfriend”—more of a cynical type, who is a little harsher, more rigid/organized, and likes things a certain way (very Type A personality, and also slightly OCD). He has once said that we make a good team because I “make up for the brain cells he lacks.”
Overall, we tend to balance each other out personality-wise due to this dynamic, but there are some habits he has that drive me absolutely crazy. For example: Every time he drinks a canned beverage, he non-intentionally makes a “slurping” sound, instead of politely and quietly sipping the drink. I’ve gently brought this up to him and said it isn’t very polite to do that (he acknowledged the behavior and said he isn’t doing it to intentionally be obnoxious—he genuinely just isn’t thinking about the actions he’s doing), but to this day, he still does it. Another thing he does: He’ll talk/mutter to himself if he’s doing some kind of solo task and not talking to another person (i.e. washing dishes). Whenever he does this, it literally makes me cringe. Another thing: he has no awareness of how loudly he is speaking when someone is right next to him. There have been instances where he’s raised his voice so loudly, my ears were ringing for a while afterwards.
I genuinely don’t think he’s aware or realizing he’s doing these things as they happen, and how it can come off as odd, bizarre or downright impolite behavior to another person—which is part of why these habits bother me so much. And every time I’ve politely addressed these habits, I can tell he feels somewhat hurt that I’ve called out the behavior (or he feels like there’s something “wrong” with him for doing it), and then he still ends up doing it. I feel like a scolding mother every time I bring the behaviors up. How do I better confront him about these things in a kind (but effective) manner? Or am I just nitpicking and need to get over it?
—Annoyed