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Yes, you're overthinking this.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

Two of my cousins, who are sisters, are having weddings this year a couple of months apart. One cousin is inviting kids, and one is not. We cannot attend the no-kids wedding—we have two little kids, the wedding is a day’s drive away, any family who could babysit will also be at the wedding, and I don’t feel comfortable leaving kids that young with an unfamiliar babysitter in an unfamiliar place. Would it be rude to go to one wedding but not the other, given that they’re so close together? Should we just regretfully decline both invites?

—Might Be Overthinking This

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Re: Yes, you're overthinking this.

  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    IDK why it would be 'rude' to go to one and not the other.  If it was *any* other type of scheduling conflict, would you consider that rude? 

    Also, people who put 'no kids' on an invite have to know that people with kids may not be able to attend if they don't have someone to watch the kids.  If they take offense, it's literally their problem and not yours. 

    If you feel that guilty, send a bigger gift with the money you save on travel and a sitter.  
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It's not rude.  It's fine because it's different circumstances.

    However, I do think they should send a gift for the wedding they are not attending.  I know "etiquette-wise" people don't have to send a gift, especially for a wedding they are not attending.  But I still think it's hurtful to give one cousin and wedding gift and not the other one.
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