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Your brother sounds like a nightmare.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I have a family member who politicizes everything under the sun and spouts everything-phobic rhetoric almost constantly. I can’t stand it! I have close friends and family in the LGBTQ+ community, and he constantly insults their existence. I rarely ever discuss my views, but my family often initiates “debates” that I’m not allowed to ignore because it’s “just a question/discussion/me sharing my views!” I can’t bring friends over because he lives there. We can’t have a conversation anymore without him screaming about politics.

I’ve tried to get through to him, I’ve tried “agree to disagree,” I’ve tried ignoring him, and he just keeps watching Fox News on maximum volume and engaging my parents in “discussions” that seem to only end up as echo chambers. I can’t go anywhere—I’m a college student living at home, and if my friends could afford an apartment, I would been gone in a snap. Instead, I have to live with him every holiday (he’s a college senior) and silently listen to him scream about how my friends are evil, I’m going to hell, and only conservatives are capable of being right. How do I survive this with minimal support and nowhere to run?

—Left and Right

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Re: Your brother sounds like a nightmare.

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    "It pains me that you have this viewpoint and I'm not going to engage with you when you appear to be looking for a fight and not an alternative way of seeing a situation." 
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I assume the LW has their own room.  They should just go in there and shut the door when the brother is being insulting or trying to instigate a fight.

    And where are the parents in all this?  They sound nuts also to allow all this arguing to go on in the house and one sibling being so hateful to another.

    At least the brother is only there for holidays.  The LW needs to suck it up the best they can until they get through school.  It's only a few years and then hopefully they can get a job that will financially allow them to move out.  Then go NC or LC.
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You have to live there but you don’t have to engage with him or be around him when he’s like this. If he’s spouting off again leave the house. Tell your parents you won’t engage with him anymore and if he’s being offensive you won’t be around him. Then follow through. 

    And put it to live at school. Get another job and start saving. He’s going to come to holidays even once he graduates college and if your parents tolerate him you have to decide if you’re willing to be around people who are willing to let him continue on like this. 
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