Dear Prudence,
My fiancé and I got engaged over the holidays. We live out of the country and knew it would require our families to save up to attend, so we’ve been trying to figure out everything as soon as possible. I’ve wanted to get married in March ever since I realized my fiancé was the one. March is absolutely gorgeous here and it’s the month of many significant things in my life, as well as my relationship. When I started researching all my options, the first weekend in March came together like it was meant to be. The one place I really wanted to get married is usually booked two years in advance but had an opening for next year. Everything else fell into place making this date seem meant to be. I even got an insanely good deal on hotels for my family through some connections. The problem is my sister.
She is an accountant and this time of year can be very busy for her. I checked with her when I first got engaged and she said she could most likely make it work the first week in March. She double-checked with her boss, who agreed as long as she did extra work the week before and wasn’t completely MIA during the week she wanted off. The destination is across many time zones and is a long plane ride, so coming for anything less than a week is difficult. At first, my sister was fine, but last week, I got a call from her saying that she was upset that I would plan my wedding during tax season and that the trip was going to be really stressful for her. I told her that I was surprised because she originally said it was fine. She said that after thinking about it for a while, she realized it would be more of an imposition than she thought. I told her that the dates had been set, deposits had been placed, and she had almost two months to think about how this would have impacted her. She immediately started yelling, called me a bridezilla, and hung up.
The next day, I got a call from my mom to talk about why I “had upset my sister so much.” I told her the situation and my mom stopped just short of telling me I should change my wedding date. I am still in shock. My sister isn’t the golden child, but my mom subtly favors her over me. I’ve brought this up to my mom several times and she brushes it off as a non-issue. Honestly, I’m kind of heartbroken that my mom and sister can’t just get behind me for this once-in-a-lifetime thing. I wanted to get an outside opinion and see if I am in fact, being a bridezilla. For reference: Everybody in our family also had to travel to my sister’s wedding, which was in a much more expensive location and she put us through the wringer with the things she made us do. I’m not having any bridesmaids, so she has no duties. Am I being too insensitive? Should I be taking the imposition on my sister’s schedule more seriously?
—Possible Bridezilla