Dear Prudence,
I live in a suburb with an active Facebook community group. My son started kindergarten this past fall, and around the same time, some vocal anti-trans folks were sharing their opinions in the group and with the school committee. I attended the first school committee meeting (meetings are on Zoom) of the year to vocalize my support for trans kids as a mom and educator (I am a teacher in a different district). Many others spoke up for trans kids as well, and the school committee reaffirmed its commitment to keeping our district a welcoming place for all students.
My son is turning 6 in a few weeks, and we have invited his whole kindergarten class to the party. It’s the norm where we are that parents and siblings can also attend kids’ birthday parties. As it turns out, the parent of one of the kids in the class was also at that SC meeting, only his comment included a rant against “gender ideology” and accusations that both the U.S. president and his son are pedophiles. I only figured this out when my son and I ran into him this morning while out walking. He was friendly, and I’m not sure he recognized or remembered me from the SC meeting, though I certainly remembered him. My question is: Can I have this man at my home without betraying my values? We invited my son’s class specifically because we did not want anyone to feel excluded. On the other hand, I have been advocating for LGBTQ+ people all my life, the majority of my close friends are queer and/or trans (I myself am bisexual, though married to a cis heterosexual man), and the idea of having anyone who shares his views at my home makes my stomach turn. Help!
—Sick in a Small Town