Dear Prudence,
I’m getting married at the end of the year. One of my bridesmaids got married four years ago and her maid of honor went through personal struggles causing my friend to feel a bit cheated of the bridal experience. For this and other reasons, I am not having a maid of honor and asking each of my bridesmaids to do a typical responsibility of one (e.g. stand up at the altar as this friend is going to do). Recently, this friend reached out asking to coordinate another bridesmaid’s dress appointment after the first store I chose wasn’t great. I was happy to accept the help. She then asked if she could coordinate meet-ups like we did for her wedding, saying they were fun for her as the bride. For me and other bridesmaids, they felt more like a chore rather than fun. I told her “honestly maybe as we get closer to the wedding, but right now I cannot as my job is entering a really busy time.” She understood, but now I feel like I should have been more honest. My wedding is also not at the forefront of my life right now given that my job is pretty new and the ceremony is still months away. Am I being a mean friend for not openly telling her why I don’t want these things? Or am I not being a good bride in wanting this?
—Bad Bride