Wedding Woes

This is sweet. Go on with your bad selves!

Dear Prudence, 

I recently reconnected with one of the nurses who was part of my care team when I was recovering from my strokes in 2016 and instantly became very good friends, sharing our deepest and personal secrets and our situations at home. We cried on each other’s shoulders many nights and held hands to comfort each other. I told her about my divorce, and she told me about breaking up with her abusive fiancée and moving out. She was currently sleeping on a co-worker’s sofa. I offered her one of the extra rooms in my townhouse and she accepted.

We’ve had a few enjoyable dates and kissing sessions, and we sleep together every night with nothing more than holding hands and a good night kiss. She’s very attractive, funny, compassionate, and a hard worker. She is the type of woman I had dreamed about before I got married to my ex. My female interest and I have a lot in common and one big difference: our age. I’ll be 65 later this year and she’ll be 55 next month. I think there is a chance for a special romance between the two of us but can’t decide if I should go all in for a romantic relationship. Help!

—Do I Or Don’t

Re: This is sweet. Go on with your bad selves!

  • I love this for you. 

    Just be mindful of the fact that you’re providing her a place to live. If she doesn’t feel the same way, will she be uncomfortable and have no where to go? The age difference is not a big deal (IMO) so if you’re both on the same page, enjoy it. Life is too short. 
  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    10 years is my "longest" gap, so I don't see an age problem.  But I agree with @charlotte989875 as well as considering that maybe where you both are is good for now, considering what you've both somewhat recently been through.
  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited April 4
    I'm torn on this.  It sounds like a great budding romance.  But, at the same time, the friend is currently in a bad place.  She's relying on the LW for a place to stay and recently ended a serious relationship.

    At the very least, the LW should wait until her friend is emotionally and financially stable enough to move out on her own.  JIC the conversation doesn't go the way she is hoping and things get awkward. 

    Edited to add:  I don't think an age difference of mid-50s to mid-60s is a big deal at all.  But people can be really weird about that.  Especially for the older person.

    My mom's husband is ten years younger than her and she was insecure about it for years.  My friend is in her late 40s and dating a guy in his early 40s.  They're only 7 years apart.  She is really insecure about it.  She "jokingly" (but not really) calls herself a cougar and worries he's going to leave her for someone younger.  
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Red flag:  K was 17 years younger than me.  I didn't really mind, but there were times it did make a difference.

    They left me for someone older than me.  I eyerolled.  Mommy issues much? (also one of the reasons we broke up, b/c i was not going to act like their mother).
  • VarunaTT said:
    Red flag:  K was 17 years younger than me.  I didn't really mind, but there were times it did make a difference.

    They left me for someone older than me.  I eyerolled.  Mommy issues much? (also one of the reasons we broke up, b/c i was not going to act like their mother).
    My H is 10 years older than me.  At least when I was younger, that was about the max. age difference I was comfortable with.  I felt like going past that and I'd start potentially being in different life stages.

    Even with my H, the tv shows and music we were exposed to as kids and teenagers was totally different.  
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