Dear Prudence,
“Clare” is the daughter of my mother’s best friend. We basically grew up together. Clare and my brother dated on and off through high school and college, but they were never very serious about each other. When my brother married his first wife, Clare attended the wedding with her mom. Clare and I moved home around the same time for various reasons and ended up becoming roommates.
We got along so well that when I saved up enough to get my own place, Clare moved in with me. We are pretty content with where our lives are right now and don’t see any need to change things up. The problem is that my divorced brother has also moved back home and is currently dating the most neurotic woman imaginable. “Denise” is obsessed with the fact that Clare used to date my brother but still remains a close family friend. She acts strangely if Clare even gets mentioned, let alone is in the room. She flat-out accused me of trying to sabotage her relationship with my brother because I asked him to look at a plumbing issue. Clare works at home while I don’t.
My brother has confessed that Denise has gone through his social media and personal messages to see if he has been chatting with Clare. Denise found nothing, of course. I told my brother this was unhinged behavior. They have only been dating for five months. Clare isn’t going anywhere. She is my best friend. My brother tells me that Denise will understand with time. I honestly don’t want to be around Denise anymore but she and my brother are joined at the hip. This makes family functions fraught. What now?
—About Clare