Dear Prudence,
My wife works two days a week and I work full-time in a hybrid situation. I can and do work from home a couple of days a week and it’s very flexible so I can often help out with the kids and give her some time to herself. I work 50-plus hour weeks routinely and frequently find myself burning some midnight oil at least once a week to meet deadlines. I don’t sleep much and it’s affecting my health. I’m doing my best to keep up with my work obligations, help around the house, and be a good husband/father. Our house is often a disaster—exceedingly messy—to the point where we can’t have anyone stop by our home unless we know they are coming well in advance.
I’ve recently become resentful about the time I’m taking away from life to cook, clean, keep yard work under control, and fix the many issues we have on our property. I think my wife can do more on the domestic front seeing as she works two days a week. I feel like it’s a misogynistic task but if the roles were reversed (and they have been), I ran a much tighter ship and kept a cleaner home. When our youngest was born, I stayed home for close to a year and approached our home like my job. I sort of miss it but my current profession is too lucrative to walk away from. I’d like my wife to spend less time watching TV or on social media and more time pulling her weight around the house but I don’t want to sound like Don Draper. Am I being unreasonable?
—Not Don