Wedding Woes

If you're that close, can you just inform them?

Dear Prudence,

I’m a bridesmaid in two weddings in 2025. One is a close friend from high school, one is a former roommate and close friend. Those wedding dates are set in stone, good to go. The bridal parties for each are four or five girls (excluding bride). I have a cousin who is getting married, likely in 2025 (but there is the possibility it will be in 2026). I’m very close with this cousin and that side of my family, and I would truly hate to miss that wedding. That side of my family is pretty small and it would be the first wedding.

My question is, what do I do if the family wedding ends up falling on the same weekend as a wedding I’m already in? My first thought was, I’m not the only bridesmaid in these weddings, there would be others if I have to bow out, and family takes precedence. In general, when conflicts arise, I stick with whatever I committed to first, but family and weddings make it less straightforward for me. It’s worth noting save-the-dates and invitations have not been sent yet for my friends’ weddings.

—(Potentially) Overbooked

Re: If you're that close, can you just inform them?

  • If you're that close with the cousin, let them know that you've already committed to these two weddings and the dates. If they want you to be there and especially to be a bridesmaid, they'll keep it mind when figuring out a date for their wedding.
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  • If you’re that close and they haven’t set the date you can mention you already have two wedding scheduled. 

    If you’re not- you make the choice when you find out the dates but I’d stay in the weddings you already committed to. 
  • If you're super close just text your cousin and let her know? Or do the  "my mom told her mom who told her" family gossip way. But truly, as an adult, just let cousin know. 


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  • This is such an easy conversation, "Hi, I'm SO excited you're engaged and I'm so looking forward to your wedding!!!  I know you're getting a TON of feedback right now about all the things, and I don't want to make ANY of this about me, but I have weddings on these dates in 2025. My mom said you hadn't set your date yet.  Anyway, I can't wait to see what comes of your plans and since I'm helping with two weddings already, I'm glad to let you bounce ideas off of me. Love you girl!  You're going to be the most beautiful bride!!"  
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