Dear Prudence,
I’m a millennial woman who works in the arts. I’ve hosted many public talks in my community. I recently attended a corporate empowerment summit for professionals from marginalized groups, where I was offered a modest speaking fee and hotel stay to moderate a panel with entrepreneurs from very different industries. The organizer asked me to be friendly and conversational; so, I threw in pop culture references to keep things light. I joked about the coffee being strong. I even got a stoic interview subject to tear up when I asked about his mentors. Several attendees told me my talk was fun and engaging!
But I also got some negative feedback, which seemed a bit … generationally motivated. One woman quizzed me on my industry bonafides; another woman, who is a banker, loudly asked to curate next year’s summit for “people who actually belong” there. At the closing party, the organizer (drunkenly) told me that I seemed “uncomfortable” and “out of my element.” I actually thought it went fine, until he added that I should hire a speaking coach! When this organizer recruited me for the event, he stressed that he wanted more young people to participate. But I left feeling incredibly alienated, and utterly confused when he wrote to thank me and invite me back next year. How do I even address this person, let alone send my invoice?
—This Ain’t No Country Club