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Your first issue is that you argued with a teenager.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I have a truck, and it is basically seen as an invitation to be a free moving company for people. I made an exception in my no-moving policy for the sister of my new girlfriend. She was 18 and moving out from one friend and in with another. I rearranged my work schedule to help her.
When I got to the apartment, she had barely begun packing. I got really annoyed and told her how rude and wasteful of my time it was. Even so, I was going to start getting the bigger items into the truck, when I heard her cussing me out under her breath. So I left. And then I texted my girlfriend about the incident. She sided with her sister and said that an 18-year-old adult is “basically a baby” and I was a jerk for abandoning her and breaking my promise.

We took a break after that but are trying again. My problem is that her sister continues to be snotty about the entire incident. She says I owe her money because she had to go rent a truck and had to miss work for the move. She manages to bring it up every time I am in her presence, and all my girlfriend can do is tell me to ignore her. It is getting really annoying. Should I clear the air or not?

—Truck

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Re: Your first issue is that you argued with a teenager.

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    How old are all of you?? 
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I mean I probably would have done the same thing as the LW. She was asking you for a favor and then started cussing you out because she wasn’t ready? Yes she’s a teenager and I wouldn’t have engaged with her but she’s behaving terribly. And continuing to being it up? Also pretty childish. 

    If you want to continue your relationship kindly but firmly say you’re done having this conversation. You made an offer to help and she wasn’t prepared. That’s on her. But honestly it sounds like the damage is done and it’s time for everyone to move on and grow up. 
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I have a smidge of forgiveness for the sister because 18 year old are often clueless and this was likely her first move as an adult.  LW should have talked to her directly OR had GF talk to her and be all, "Tim is showing up at 10am on Saturday, so make sure you're packed up by then."  If she wasn't, then that's on her.  LW could have just taken what could go and let her know that she's on her own for the stuff that isn't ready. 

    Also, LW could have not been so reactive and been all, "So I see your clothes aren't ready to go, but can I take your TV stand and get it in the truck?"  

    Everyone didn't handle this well.  

    If GF is telling you to ignore her comments, then do it.  If you can't, then part ways again.  She's clearly going to be in her sister's corner.  
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    mrsconn23 said:
    I have a smidge of forgiveness for the sister because 18 year old are often clueless and this was likely her first move as an adult.  LW should have talked to her directly OR had GF talk to her and be all, "Tim is showing up at 10am on Saturday, so make sure you're packed up by then."  If she wasn't, then that's on her.  LW could have just taken what could go and let her know that she's on her own for the stuff that isn't ready. 

    Also, LW could have not been so reactive and been all, "So I see your clothes aren't ready to go, but can I take your TV stand and get it in the truck?"  

    Everyone didn't handle this well.  

    If GF is telling you to ignore her comments, then do it.  If you can't, then part ways again.  She's clearly going to be in her sister's corner.  
    I agree the LW didn't act that great either.  The sister was probably reacting to him being angry with her and became defensive.  I'm not excusing any of her behavior, but she is very young and hasn't fully matured yet.

    He should have started moving the furniture.  That's the most difficult stuff anyway.  With a warning that he may not fully be able to help her with her move, because he can only move what is packed and is not going to sit around waiting for her to do that.

    For in-town moves, I usually use my car for the vast majority of my stuff.  You only need a truck for items that won't fit in a car or if it is a long distance move.
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Listen, this has happened to us TWICE with both SIL A and her H and SIL B. It is super annoying AF. Granted, both these times everyone was an adult and we were amazed that things weren't packed, but still. LW wasn't wrong to point out that it was an inconvenience and inconsiderate, but honestly, GF should be telling her sister it was rude and inconsiderate when someone has offered to help, let alone muttering loud enough for LW to hear (and let's be honest, she was doing it loud on purpose). There are consequences to your actions. If someone showed up, you weren't ready, and then you insulted them, they get to leave and you're out a convenient source of help. So sure, everyone is kiiiind of an AH here, but being 18 and a "baby" isn't an excuse for being super rude either. I feel like no one in this letter can possibly be over 25. 


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