Dear Prudence,
My cousin and I used to be close as sisters until she started dating “Dan.” Dan was 12 years older than us, barely employed, and already had two kids with two different women. My cousin had a full ride to college. She gave it all up when Dan got her pregnant. I told her bluntly that going through with the pregnancy was a bad idea. She was 20 with her future in front of her, and Dan was a loser who already proved to be a bad dad. My cousin cut me out of her life—I just didn’t understand their love. Now, I understand that my cousin is miserable. She is 24 with two babies and still is the primary breadwinner. She hates leaving the kids with her mother (my aunt is a difficult woman). She hates Dan’s exes and his kids. She still refuses to leave Dan. I hear all this through the family grapevine. The few times I have reached out to my cousin personally, she has slapped my hand away. I love her and miss her. I want to help but it feels pointless for me to even try now. Is there anything I can do, or do I just mourn our relationship and move on?
—Missing Her