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You may have a case, but you can't insult your way to agreement.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

My wife and I own a townhouse in a very touristy area. Our loft area is where we put guests since it has a private bathroom.

The problem is the loft is right above our bedroom and my sister-in-law and her kids couldn’t manage to be quiet if you paid them. Every time they visit, it is like a herd of elephants above our heads and ones that seem incapable of using headphones. My workday starts at 2 a.m. so when I get home, I need peace and quiet to nap for a few hours. The last time they visited for a week, I didn’t get a wink of sleep and my sister-in-law even made jokes about me being a grump. I have repeatedly complained to my wife about this and she says her family should be as welcomed in our home as mine is. My family are quiet and clean up after themselves! My sister-in-law wants to visit with the kids again this summer. I told my wife either they get a hotel room or I would. My wife called me overdramatic. I need backup here, please.

—Need to Sleep

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Re: You may have a case, but you can't insult your way to agreement.

  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You need to get a hotel room. I’m sorry you have a very unusual work schedule but sounds like you are expecting daytime silence and that’s not reasonable. It is also your wife’s home, she should be able to welcome her reasonable but not silent family, so if white noise and ear plugs don’t work a hotel for you is a good option. 
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Get a hotel room for the week. If you’re asking for silence during the day, when people are on a vacation, I think that’s a little much. Either you take the week off when they’re visiting or get a hotel room if your work schedule requires you to sleep during the day. 

    Does it suck? Sure. Is it worth telling your wife her sister can’t visit? Not at all. 
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I know it would still be a pain and inconvenient.  But I wonder if switching bedrooms for the week would help.  He and his wife can stay in the loft and her sister and family can stay on the first floor.  I'd think it would help the noise issue a lot if it is coming from downstairs, instead of overhead.  
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm thinking that the guy needs to switch bedrooms or get a hotel room.

    I also think that the SIL is a bad houseguest but if you welcome them it's not reasonable to expect complete silence if you wake up at 2 AM and these are people on vacation.

    I'm suspicious and wonder if the guests on the LW's side aren't kids.  Adults can calm down and be quiet but it's not reasonable to expect kids to do that. 
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    banana468 said:
    I'm thinking that the guy needs to switch bedrooms or get a hotel room.

    I also think that the SIL is a bad houseguest but if you welcome them it's not reasonable to expect complete silence if you wake up at 2 AM and these are people on vacation.

    I'm suspicious and wonder if the guests on the LW's side aren't kids.  Adults can calm down and be quiet but it's not reasonable to expect kids to do that. 
    I was wondering that also, since the LW doesn't seem bothered when other family members stay.  But I can't help but notice those are his family members, so there could also be some bias.

    I don't necessarily think the SIL or her family are doing anything wrong.  But at the same time, if they are disrupting his sleep this much for whatever the reason is then I can understand why this arrangement isn't working for him.

    I also don't think family is entitled to stay with their relatives.  It's nice when that works out.  But sometimes it doesn't.

    I didn't go to my grandpa's funeral or cousin's wedding because nobody could pick me up from the airport or host me for either of those occasions.  I wasn't mad and didn't expect anyone to do that.  But I also didn't want to spend $1500 on 4 days of travel.
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