Treat it like a meeting with notes and talking points.

Re: Treat it like a meeting with notes and talking points.

• charlotte989875 member

  

  June 2024

  Write out your questions before you meet with a doctor and make sure you go over them in your appointment. 

  
  

  You also seem to have some feelings about doctors & health not being, I don’t know, important? Valued? Maybe it’s the “because I’m a guy” and referring to the pandemic as sniffles that is giving me “this isn’t important to me and I don’t care, except now I don’t want to die” vibes. 

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• levioosa member

  

  June 2024

  Even for people who are in the system and who know, it's challenging. It rarely goes well just to sit and listen if you're unsure. Bring someone with you that you trust who is more familiar with healthcare, or who can at least reiterate what was said in the visit. Write down the recommendations and diagnoses. Follow up regularly. Write down your questions for the provider and then write down the answers. It's hard to start navigating now, but just like anything, it will become a little easier with time. Maybe not less frustrating, but you'll at least know the next steps. Trust me, we wish navigating healthcare was easier too. 

  
  

  
  

  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  June 2024

  Global sniffles fest? 

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• short+sassy member

  

  June 2024

  He should do his own research for his concerns and health conditions.  That should give him more knowledge and confidence to advocate for himself and discuss concerns.
  
  There's an unfortunate attitude in our society to treat doctors like they are all-knowing Gods, when they are not.  It might help him to think of a doctor more as a paid consultant.  A member of his health care team.  While not forgetting that he, himself is the most important member of that team.  The problems are XYZ.  What are his thoughts to address that?  What are the doctor's thoughts?  Create a plan of action that he can live with and the doctor agrees with.
  
  My coworker told me a funny story.  He's an older guy and was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.  He loves milk.  Before his diagnosis, he would drink at least a 1/4 gallon of milk a day.  His doctor recommended he stop drinking milk because of all the lactose.  He said, "Sorry, I can't do that.  I'll cut back.  But I love milk too much."  The doctor asked if he could limit it to one 8oz glass a day.  That he could do and has.  He now enjoys and savors his one glass of milk in the evening, as his special treat at the end of the day.   
  
  Rant:
  My H is like how this guy was and it pisses me off.  He refuses to go to a doctor for his annual check-up...which is one of the only things FREE with health insurance.  I've joked with him to make them at least pay for that visit on principle, since they are collecting a ridiculous amount of money each year for health insurance he doesn't use.  As far as we know he doesn't have any health problems.  But then, how would we know if he refuses to see a doctor.  He's no spring chicken either.  He's turning 60 in July.  Also like the LW, even people who have been healthy their whole lives can start to have health issues as they get older. 

  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  June 2024

  short+sassy said:

  He should do his own research for his concerns and health conditions.  That should give him more knowledge and confidence to advocate for himself and discuss concerns.
  
  There's an unfortunate attitude in our society to treat doctors like they are all-knowing Gods, when they are not.  It might help him to think of a doctor more as a paid consultant.  A member of his health care team.  While not forgetting that he, himself is the most important member of that team.  The problems are XYZ.  What are his thoughts to address that?  What are the doctor's thoughts?  Create a plan of action that he can live with and the doctor agrees with.
  
  My coworker told me a funny story.  He's an older guy and was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.  He loves milk.  Before his diagnosis, he would drink at least a 1/4 gallon of milk a day.  His doctor recommended he stop drinking milk because of all the lactose.  He said, "Sorry, I can't do that.  I'll cut back.  But I love milk too much."  The doctor asked if he could limit it to one 8oz glass a day.  That he could do and has.  He now enjoys and savors his one glass of milk in the evening, as his special treat at the end of the day.   
  
  Rant:
  My H is like how this guy was and it pisses me off.  He refuses to go to a doctor for his annual check-up...which is one of the only things FREE with health insurance.  I've joked with him to make them at least pay for that visit on principle, since they are collecting a ridiculous amount of money each year for health insurance he doesn't use.  As far as we know he doesn't have any health problems.  But then, how would we know if he refuses to see a doctor.  He's no spring chicken either.  He's turning 60 in July.  Also like the LW, even people who have been healthy their whole lives can start to have health issues as they get older. 

  Not to be all doom and gloom, but this was my dad. He wasn't opposed to going to the doc on principle, but he was more of the mindset that you go when you're sick. Like he never had any problems going when he blew his knee out in the 80s, but he rarely gets sick beyond a cold and just didn't really think he needed anything.
  
  When he turned 55, my mom finally convinced him to go for an annual check up. At that age, colonoscopy is part of the deal. They found stage 2 colon cancer. He had 0 symptoms. If he'd waited until he was 60, he probably wouldn't be here now. 

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• levioosa member

  

  June 2024

  MyNameIsNot said:

  short+sassy said:

  He should do his own research for his concerns and health conditions.  That should give him more knowledge and confidence to advocate for himself and discuss concerns.
  
  There's an unfortunate attitude in our society to treat doctors like they are all-knowing Gods, when they are not.  It might help him to think of a doctor more as a paid consultant.  A member of his health care team.  While not forgetting that he, himself is the most important member of that team.  The problems are XYZ.  What are his thoughts to address that?  What are the doctor's thoughts?  Create a plan of action that he can live with and the doctor agrees with.
  
  My coworker told me a funny story.  He's an older guy and was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.  He loves milk.  Before his diagnosis, he would drink at least a 1/4 gallon of milk a day.  His doctor recommended he stop drinking milk because of all the lactose.  He said, "Sorry, I can't do that.  I'll cut back.  But I love milk too much."  The doctor asked if he could limit it to one 8oz glass a day.  That he could do and has.  He now enjoys and savors his one glass of milk in the evening, as his special treat at the end of the day.   
  
  Rant:
  My H is like how this guy was and it pisses me off.  He refuses to go to a doctor for his annual check-up...which is one of the only things FREE with health insurance.  I've joked with him to make them at least pay for that visit on principle, since they are collecting a ridiculous amount of money each year for health insurance he doesn't use.  As far as we know he doesn't have any health problems.  But then, how would we know if he refuses to see a doctor.  He's no spring chicken either.  He's turning 60 in July.  Also like the LW, even people who have been healthy their whole lives can start to have health issues as they get older. 

  Not to be all doom and gloom, but this was my dad. He wasn't opposed to going to the doc on principle, but he was more of the mindset that you go when you're sick. Like he never had any problems going when he blew his knee out in the 80s, but he rarely gets sick beyond a cold and just didn't really think he needed anything.
  
  When he turned 55, my mom finally convinced him to go for an annual check up. At that age, colonoscopy is part of the deal. They found stage 2 colon cancer. He had 0 symptoms. If he'd waited until he was 60, he probably wouldn't be here now. 

  Second this. I rarely see patients who have avoided the doctor their whole lives (and who proclaim to be "totally healthy") actually have great health in reality. When they finally come in they are usually a dumpster fire (also usually it's after they ended up in the ER for something huge which is the only reason they finally come in), and then we're the ones the blame, "because they never had these problems before coming in." No, that's not how it works. The point is to do preventative care before it's a problem. I would much rather guide people to prevent problems or manage them early than try to mitigate a million intricate things declining drastically and simultaneously. 
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• short+sassy member

  

  June 2024

  @MyNameIsNot, thanks for the warning!  That's exactly the kind of thing I am afraid of.  There are so many serious medical problems that may not have any major signs until things get bad.  But if they are caught early, they can be managed.
  
  He is at least really on top of vaccines.  He refused to take a flu shot for years because he was in the army 40 years ago and they required it.  He'd always get really sick for a few days afterwards.  But in 2020, I convinced him to get a flu shot because of the possibility of contracting the flu and COVID at the same time.  That sounded scary.  He felt slightly unwell for a few days, but it was much better than it had been in the past.  He came around and has been getting an annual flu shot since then.
  

  

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