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Wedding Woes

Start making donations.

Dear Prudence,

My mother-in-law keeps us sending things to our apartment. My husband and I live in NYC and thus we don’t have a ton of space. I’ve talked to my husband about this as these gifts are almost always a burden. There is usually no gift receipt and sending them back is usually time-consuming and sometimes physically challenging (when large). My husband says he has tried to talk to her about this but she does not listen and he will often just throw the stuff out. I know she is self-conscious and defensive about having been a stay-at-home mom and I suspect these gifts are her way of compensating. Besides the inconvenience, the situation just personally doesn’t sit well with me, having come from a less well-off background that makes me averse to waste.

—Drowning in Boxes

Re: Start making donations.

  • Maybe say to her at the end of the year that you appreciate what she gave and due to space you made the choice to donate some of the items to causes you support.

    Or do it without  her knowledge.  
  • Maybe some of the items are worth selling.  If not, there are tons of places that take donations or online groups for give/take of "free" stuff.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Maybe some of the items are worth selling.  If not, there are tons of places that take donations or online groups for give/take of "free" stuff.
    The local middle school just donated stuff to a women's shelter.   Lots of places take a whole scope of stuff. 
  • Let him keep throwing stuff away. I understand the aversion to waste, but unless it's something truly valuable to someone, it's probably better to just let him keep doing what he's been doing. 
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