Dear Prudence,
I was with my two kids at the gym (it’s kid-friendly) a couple of weeks ago when my 10-year-old son wasn’t looking where he was going and nearly bumped into this man as he was getting off a cardio machine. I apologized and the man was gracious about it. Except he said to me, “It’s good we get our kids into exercise now so they don’t end up like this when they’re adults.” He patted his belly as he said that. This man was bigger, but he was clearly active and in good enough health to undergo a rigorous workout. There was nothing noticeably wrong with his body or his stomach. He was just bigger.
As a woman who has experienced body issues, I was upset thinking about this incident for the rest of the day. After a while, I was less sad and more angry that he would talk like that, fat-shaming essentially, in front of children. I’ve seen this man a couple more times in the gym since then. My anger returns every time. I know what he said isn’t hate speech, but it feels like something adjacent to that. I’m less comfortable going to that particular gym location now and don’t feel safe bringing my kids there anymore. I could go to another of the gym’s locations, but it’s further from my house and that’s inconvenient. Is this an appropriate situation to complain about to the gym management?
—Workout Woes