Dear Prudence,
My husband hates his job. He’s been there about two years with some ups and downs, but about two months ago, something snapped and it turned to all-out misery. This affects every aspect of our lives. I feel like I’m constantly coaxing him out of a bad mood while he complains that he’s in a dead-end job, his co-workers are incompetent, etc.
He’s also taken zero steps to find a new job. I try to gently suggest he look around and when he’s in a more reasonable mood, he’ll agree that he needs to start looking. When he’s feeling really down, he’ll tell me there’s no point because the next job will be worse. His friend who has a similar background has sent him a few possible jobs, but my husband either says he’s not qualified or gives some other reason as to why he won’t apply. How hard should I be pushing him? I know it’s his issue to solve, but I feel like if I don’t push a little, he won’t even try to find something else.
I know he’s depressed and probably has some undiagnosed ADHD. He’s always struggled with basic things like making doctor’s appointments. I’m the exact opposite where if I have a problem, I jump right into all my possible solutions, so it’s hard to sit back.
—Pushy Wife?