Dear Prudence,
I need some perspective. I (a gay man) just got married! It was a small ceremony on a shockingly perfect day, with my closest friends and my husband’s family. My immediate family lives on the other side of the continent from me and did not attend. My mother has mobility issues and was scared of traveling. One of my siblings is deeply religious and did not attend for moral reasons. I did not expect them to attend, but they sent a lovely message explaining their perspective and what it meant to them. My other sibling has always been the center of their own universe with everyone else revolving around them. They have not been in contact with me to even respond to the invitation, and they have not been in touch since the wedding. My sister didn’t reply to the invitation, didn’t even tell me she wasn’t coming to the wedding (my mother passed the information on to me), and did not ask me anything about the wedding in the lead up to it.
Meanwhile, my husband’s family, my new in-laws, are deeply religious, conservative, and fantastic. They all traveled here and were an integral part of the celebration. What I am most annoyed by are two things. My husband and I are not on social media, no Facebook, Insta, or whatever. We had a no cell phone policy at our wedding. My sister, who had yet to get in touch with me regarding the wedding, posted about it on Facebook. From what I’ve been told, it’s getting lots of thumbs-up and comments, WTF? The second thing, the dinner was at 7 p.m., my sister called at 7:10 p.m., knowing full well that we were having a cell phone free wedding (my ringer was on for logistics). At this point, I feel incredibly angry and hurt, and I don’t want to talk to my family again let alone return my sister’s call. After spending time with my new in-laws, I feel like my family might be assholes. Am I overreacting?
—Are They the Assholes?