Dear Prudence,
When I was in my early 20s, my boyfriend of five years tragically passed away. I was grieving for three years and did not seek a new relationship. During this period, I spent most of my time with his family and found comfort in his best friend. Fast forward a couple of years, and I’ve been married to his best friend for two years now (with the support of my last partner’s family). Shortly after my wedding, my husband moved to another country for a job opportunity. I have been living back here on my own and have become quite independent and content with being alone. I feel like I’ve found myself again, as this is the first time I am alone and not grieving. My husband and I have previously discussed that I would move out there in a couple of months so we can be together. This means that I would have to quit my job and be a housewife/mom essentially. We are ready to try and start having a family, but now I am having reservations because I realize that I am happy without him. Am I in a relationship with him because I was vulnerable and we were trauma-bonded? Shouldn’t I want to be with him?
—Should I Pack My Bags