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This is ridic and I'd be pissed if he went.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

My husband was invited to his co-worker’s wedding, which is a destination wedding in another country, a three-hour flight from where we live. I was not invited, and my husband does not get a plus-one (none of the bride and groom’s co-workers get plus-ones). Overall, this is costing us $750 in travel and accommodation for my husband. He’s happy to go, and I’m happy for him to go, mild annoyance about the cost aside. But we disagree about wedding etiquette here. Should I have been invited to the wedding, either as a named guest or a plus-one? Or do co-worker acquaintances not get that luxury, even for a destination wedding?

—Guestzilla

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Re: This is ridic and I'd be pissed if he went.

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    How close is your H to this coworker? It really is disrespectful. 

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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    This is nuts. Unless there was some crazy work politics going on I would not go to this. Or I’d still bring my spouse but dip shortly into the reception and go hang out with them on the resort. 


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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    This is so freaking rude.  No your H shouldn't go and you should have been invited by name on the invitation.

    Just decline it. 
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I don't think they really wanted coworkers to come. They just wanted a gift. 

    But yeah, this is obviously over the top rude and your husband is an ass for going without you. 
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  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Super rude, your H shouldn’t go. 

    And side note but I’d even be as annoyed by “plus one” on the invite- will never forget id been with exH for almost two years when one sisters sent him an invite “Firstname Lastname and Guest” umm we’ve met multiple times you know my name. If the coworker isn’t close enough to your H to know your name (or that he’s married), it’s strange to feel close enough to invite him to a wedding in another country. 
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm very confused as to why they're even entertaining him going to this.  Unless this wedding is some sort of 'networking' thing, which I need to know a LOT more about this industry and why life events are used to further yourself in business.  

    If he doesn't want to decline for whatever reason (which, major side-eye, sorrynotsorry), I'd be going with.  I wouldn't crash the wedding, but why does he get to have a vacation and not me?  If he doesn't want LW to go at all, then that's a whole other ball of wax. 
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I can see some situations where I'd send my partner off gladly for the event.

    But really, they can both agree it's rude and (in these specific situations), it's still good for him to go.  IDK why he's saying it isn't.
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It is extremely rude not to invite a guest's SO! I wouldn't attend if my H wasn't invited (especially to a DW).
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    mrsconn23 said:
    I'm very confused as to why they're even entertaining him going to this.  Unless this wedding is some sort of 'networking' thing, which I need to know a LOT more about this industry and why life events are used to further yourself in business.  

    If he doesn't want to decline for whatever reason (which, major side-eye, sorrynotsorry), I'd be going with.  I wouldn't crash the wedding, but why does he get to have a vacation and not me?  If he doesn't want LW to go at all, then that's a whole other ball of wax. 
    This is the only thing I can think of where there could be a good reason to go, even if the spouse isn't invited.  Though not inviting coworker SOs is still rude, no matter how you slice it.

    But other than that, I don't understand why the H would even want to spend money to go to a destination wedding by himself.

    I had a coworker who invited 300 people to her wedding because her dad was one of those "pillar of the community" types.  He'd owned his own company for years and was active in city politics and local charities.  They invited his clients and the other people he hob-knobbed with.  He paid for 100% of the wedding because it was definitely a networking event also.
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