Dear Prudence,
My 6-year-old son has a friend in his class, “Max,” who has some serious behavioral issues. I believe he’s been diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety, which manifests itself in lashing out violently toward other children. He’s finally on medication that works well enough for him to be able to attend school without major disruption. I’m friends with Max’s parents, and they are kind people who I feel are a little out of their depth with his needs. At my son’s birthday party, his mom was chatting with other people and not supervising Max closely. As a result, he ended up throwing a water gun at one kid and screaming at another, much smaller kid, for not going down the slide fast enough. I had several parents mention the behavior later, and some of the dads at the party had to actually correct or stop him. We’re coming up on another party at our house, and I was wondering how best to address this with his mom. It’s hard to say, “Just watch your kid better,” but I also don’t want other friends to stop coming because Max might be there.
—It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To