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There isn't much you can do. Be neutral if they ask you anything.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I love my sister, but I can’t stand what she is doing to her kids. They are in the middle of a divorce and my sister is using the kids as a means to punish her ex. She’s doing things like telling them that daddy is tired of them and is getting a new family and they are going to be poor now. Whatever faults my ex-brother-in-law had, he was a loving and involved father. It is killing me to see my sister try and alienate the kids from their dad.

And the kicker: I know my sister has been having an affair on and off with one of her coworkers. She has bragged about it to me after having one too many glasses of wine. I live in a different city so I only see my sister and her kids every so often. My sister is fond of the silent treatment and has cut me off before. What do I do here? What do I do if the kids ask me questions about the divorce or their dad? I don’t want to lie to them. The oldest just turned 14.

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Re: There isn't much you can do. Be neutral if they ask you anything.

  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Oof, I don't know that I could stay that neutral. Sister is a piece of shit.


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  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Oh that’s terrible.  Poor kids. That’s like the #1 rule, you’re not supposed to badmouth your ex-spouse.  Do they ever see their dad?  I tell myself that the truth outs itself in the long run anytime exH badmouths me. I’d hope if all the kids are older-ish (like not a huge gap between the 14yr old and others) they wouldn’t buy it? 
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Sister is going to damage her kids.

    But if she's also vindictive person to those who wrong her stay out of it unless asked and then tell your kids that if they're confused by their mom to ask their dad but let them know that issues between parents are between the adults.   

    The 14 yo likely knows that mom is skibidi toilet.
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would try to gently point out that while I understand she is angry at her ex (even if I don't), the things she is saying is hurting her kids also.  That they will have an easier time if she stays more neutral, at least around them. 

    Around the kids and only if they asked/said something, I'd reassure them that their father loves them and adult relationships can be complicated.  Not outright calling my sister a liar.  But telling the truth.
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