Dear Prudence,
I’ve been with my partner for over a year and he’s literally the best man I’ve ever been with. He’s kind, smart, funny, affectionate, respectful, reliable, gorgeous, nurturing, great in bed, but he lies about one thing… his flatulence!
YUCK! Initially, it would happen while we sat on the couch with his dog and he’d blame it on the dog. I would completely believe it as big dogs can be gassy. However, as time has passed I’ve noticed a pattern, after every meal he will excuse himself to the bathroom, and then when we’re relaxing on the couch the “dog” has horrible gas!
Now this may be gross to admit but at this point, I can distinguish a dog fart from a human fart in particular because it’s the same smell every time—very pungent. Some nights the dog won’t even be near us and the smell comes creeping in. In those instances, he’ll quickly get up to pretend to get something and I’m left gagging. When I finally started to call him out and told him he didn’t have to blame the dog, he swore up and down it wasn’t him and even had the nerve to start blaming me! I know everyone farts but this seems to be an extreme case, maybe even a health issue. How can I get him to just admit it’s him and gently ask him to possibly seek medical help?
—Can’t Take the Smelly Lies