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Wedding Woes

This will never change. DTMFA

Dear Prudence,

I am dating a single father. His kids are 12, 10, and 6. He has been pushing for us to move in together, but when his kids are here, it is like I disappear. His kids have zero boundaries and their father just lets them roll over him. I can’t leave any make-up or personal effects there because the kids will get into them and ruin them. If I get upset, he makes the excuse they are “just kids” and didn’t mean any harm. He can take the kids to Sephora himself if he wants them to ruin a few hundred dollars’ worth of product. I can’t wear any anything like a nice hairclip or headband without his oldest trying to take it.

I made the mistake of ordering pizza for a family movie night, but had to step out for a moment. When I got back, everyone was already eating. My boyfriend didn’t even save me a slice. Worse, he let his son waste the wings I wanted. A bite was taken out of every piece.  I got upset and asked to speak to him outside. I told him how awful and disrespected I felt and he accused me of not liking his kids. I told him that wasn’t fair and I was going home. He has since apologized, but as much as I love him and no matter how good we are together, I feel this pattern will continue. Am I wrong? Am I crazy? I mean, my 4-year-old niece is better behaved than this.

—It Isn’t About the Pizza

Re: This will never change. DTMFA

  • Nope nope nope. Also how long have you been together? This does not sound nearly worth the amount of time you've already wasted. 


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  • This guy is so afraid to discipline his kids that he's letting them walk all over him.  There's no way I'd combine finances with someone who has so little respect for my money.

    And I'd be clear about it.  This isn't about your kids.  You don't respect me.  I spend money on things for me that I do not get to use because they are either consumed or destroyed by people who do not express remorse or an understanding that they needed to save something for me in the case of dinner or that my make up is not theirs to use.

    Your kids may be lovely people who grow up to be fine one day but I'm not going to move in with you because you're a shitty dad. 
  • I would no longer be dating this man, LW, IDK why you are.
  • Dealbreaker for me.  Tell him to call you when the kids are more respectful. This could be a while

  • LW, seriously.  The youngest is 6.  Do you really want 12+ more years of this?

    This guy is totally ridiculous.  The "they don't mean any harm" is fine, if the children are corrected when they misbehave so they start to understand what "harm" and inappropriate behaviors are.  It's a cornerstone of parenting.  He's setting his children up for failure, if they don't learn now how to behave in society.

    As the parent, he is responsible for the damage his children cause.  But it doesn't sound like he went out to get more wings or reimbursed the LW for her destroyed make-up.  Or even cared that she was upset.  No wonder his children are so discourteous.  The apples don't fall far from the tree.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Title says it all. Get those obnoxious children and their spineless father out of your life, pronto.
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