Barely Present

Re: Barely Present

• levioosa member

  

  August 2024

  happyeveralyward0505 said:

  Hello, Knot Community.

  
  

  My family seemed really excited when my fiance and I got engaged last spring. It was such a great feeling, until I realized that was the only time they showed any kind of interest. A lot has happened in the last year, but my family is minimally if not at all engaged in my wedding plans. They continue to compare it to my sister's wedding that was three years ago. This experience has made me sad and depressed for almost the entirety of my and my fiance's engagement. If anyone has any advice on coping with their parents and siblings not showing up for them, not loving them or supporting them, or not showing any interest whatsoever in their wedding, I am all ears. Thank you.
  

  The saying, "comparison is the thief of joy" is a saying for a reason. The reality is no one will be as excited for your wedding as you are. It doesn't mean they don't care, or they don't love you. The only people who are obligated to plan, pay or arrange the wedding are you and your FI. If others join in, that's great, but you can't expect them to. Try to reframe your experience. Find fun things to talk about and plan with your FI. Don't place so much internal pressure on your family, or what "should be happening." The wedding industry creates this illusion that everything needs to be hyped up to the extreme by you and everyone around you during the whole process and that's just not realistic. You also can't expect people to always talk about an upcoming event. If they truly don't engage at all, then stop trying to force it, because it's creating more distress for you. Just focus on planning a fun, well hosted event and on creating a solid foundation with your H for marriage. 

  
  

  
  

  

  Report6 Reply
• knottiefeb021f3de9a40fc newb

  

  August 2024

  I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. It's tough when the excitement and support we expect from our loved ones doesn't materialize. Have you had a direct conversation with them about how you’re feeling? Sometimes, sharing your feelings openly can help bridge the gap.
  

  Report1 Reply