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Wedding Woes

Y'all sound young.

Dear Prudence, 

I have a car. My girlfriend doesn’t. Usually, I am fine about driving her places to take care of errands, but her two new roommates are driving me nuts. They just invite themselves along whenever we go out and make demands to stop at other shops because they happen to be along the way. What should be a short trip to the grocery store turns into a two or three-hour-long affair because they can find item A at this store so we have to try another one. Or they forgot item B and needed to go back. They never offer to pay for gas or get a meal unless I have to prompt them. It is like pulling teeth.

My girlfriend had a bad fallout with some of her friends and has been lonely. She really likes the company of her roommates and bends over backward for them. We keep fighting about it. I finally snapped when they invited themselves to a fair that I was taking my girlfriend to on a date. They proceed to ditch us and refuse to answer their phones when it comes time to leave. We couldn’t find them. I had an early morning because of work. My girlfriend refused to leave without them so I gave up and said she could stay with me or wait and get an Uber. She chose Uber. I later apologized but we still fight all the time about it. I love my girlfriend but I feel like I am at a breaking point. Help!

—Not a Taxi

Re: Y'all sound young.

  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited August 2024
    I had a similar thing happen.  We had a friend without a vehicle who was using public transportation and was in physical therapy.  She asked for help and we gladly started picking her up from PT and taking her home.  She asked one if we could stop at a spot and it was no big deal, so we did.  Then it became, Oh I need to stop here and here and here. Finally I told her no.  It created some tension, but she did back down and we went back to just picking up from PT and dropping off at home.

    I think the easiest thing to do is for LW to start being "busy" when these errands come around.  She took care of it someway before BF showed up.  Then, when it's a date, make VERY clear that this is a date between us and I don't want your roommates there.  And if she can't tell her roommates that, she's elevating their wants and needs over LW'S and it's time to bounce.
  • I need more information.  Where are these stops? Is it Spirit Halloween store? Ulta? Starbucks? Don’t deprive us of that, driver! 

  • "Oh, this was supposed to be a date. If you'd rather go with your friends, I'll just head home." 

    For the errands, I don't see a problem if they want to tag along to the grocery, but LW needs to start saying they don't have time for extra stops and sticking with it. But really, with the GF acting this way I'd just break up. 
  • The g/f and her roommates should all chip in for Walmart+ and Amazon Prime accounts!  I have a car and live in a major metropolitan area where everything is handy.  But I STILL use services like that to cut down on errands, lol.

    The LW put his foot down for the fair.  He should start doing more of that and sticking to it.  Start making it a policy that the roommates can come along for the ride when he is helping his g/f with errands, but he is not making extra stops.  HIs g/f needs to back him up on that.  If she doesn't, that's a red flag he should pay attention to.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Everyone here is clearly 21. 


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