Dear Prudence,
My dad walked out on my mom, my brother, and me before I was born. He was from another country and never paid a single penny for us. His parents refused to acknowledge us because our mom was of a different race and religion. We grew up struggling. I know my mom often skipped meals so we could eat. My brother and I both went to college and made pretty good lives for ourselves.
Recently, my brother told me that we actually have two half-sisters. He took an ancestry test and they matched up. One of them is finishing her PhD in the States. She wants to meet us. My brother has been pressing me to come. He doesn’t want to do it alone. I don’t want to. I understand that this young woman isn’t responsible for what happened to us, but I have no desire to hear how wonderful her family is or what it was like to have a father who stuck around. We have nothing in common but some DNA. Our mother died unexpectedly three years ago. I know my brother has felt adrift without her but the loss of her isn’t going to be filled by some stranger. How do I talk with my brother about this?
—Lost in Vegas