this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Woes
Wedding Woes
New Discussion

Go to the party for future networking options.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I recently found out that my employer denied my transfer request, leaving me with no other option than to quit my job. I am moving to a new city to be with my boyfriend of eight-plus years who is starting a graduate school program. My work is remote, and I only visit my home office a few times a year. Not only did my company deny my transfer request, but they took more than six weeks to deliberate and then offered little explanation as to why my transfer was denied other than the fact that they could not effectively supervise me in the new city, despite the fact that my job has been remote for two-plus years. It feels like they are forcing me to quit without being legally able to fire me for requesting the transfer. Now they want to throw me a going-away party. How do I decline the invite while getting the message across that a party won’t make up for their lack of consideration or care for my well-being?

—Party Pooper

Report Reply to Post

Re: Go to the party for future networking options.

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    If you're this young I don't know that I'd burn a bridge especially if you're going to stay in the same industry.


    I am loathe to support the practice of 'remote but not really' but at the same time you can continue to be supportive of your colleagues, document everything pertinent and ensure that on paper you're leaving without bad blood.  

    Also, the 'going away party' is likely their ruse for getting you to bring in your company equipment and turning it in.   
    Report Reply
  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    banana468 said:

    Also, the 'going away party' is likely their ruse for getting you to bring in your company equipment and turning it in.   
    They asked me if I wanted to drop my things off or a postage paid box.  I opted for the box.  I do not need to coordinate getting your shit back to you.  LOL  

    But yes, this person should suck it up and head in for the party.  Have a slice of cake and tell everyone goodbye.  You literally never know when you're gonna need a contact.  Leave the spite for venting at your partner. 

    This has happened every time there's a layoff and they even tell you when you're getting laid off to not start talking about it.  I've always given a heavy eyeroll because, like, seriously?  But yesterday, I saw people posting and tagging people in the posts and I was like, "I will not be risking my severance over a social media post."  IDK if they could do anything, but why even chance it?  I would love to burn things down, but I'm not stupid.  
    Report Reply
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    mrsconn23 said:
    banana468 said:

    Also, the 'going away party' is likely their ruse for getting you to bring in your company equipment and turning it in.   
    They asked me if I wanted to drop my things off or a postage paid box.  I opted for the box.  I do not need to coordinate getting your shit back to you.  LOL  

    But yes, this person should suck it up and head in for the party.  Have a slice of cake and tell everyone goodbye.  You literally never know when you're gonna need a contact.  Leave the spite for venting at your partner. 

    This has happened every time there's a layoff and they even tell you when you're getting laid off to not start talking about it.  I've always given a heavy eyeroll because, like, seriously?  But yesterday, I saw people posting and tagging people in the posts and I was like, "I will not be risking my severance over a social media post."  IDK if they could do anything, but why even chance it?  I would love to burn things down, but I'm not stupid.  
    Right.  You do not get emotional and create anything that can or will be used against you later. 

    And the company may or may not be a bunch of jerks for how they handled it but also know that if you're asking for them to deviate from a set precedent then what they did was deliberate and confirm that they cant' set a new precedent. 


    Report Reply
  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I get plenty salty about a lot of shit, but I will never put it in writing and I still have to think long term. The other day there was a mass of layoffs in the company. The shit people (both the terminated and the still here) were posting on the Teams chat was both hilarious (and true) but also super risky and unprofessional. I had my popcorn out but I wasn't about to chime in with "yeah! We do need a union!" on the CEO managed group chat. 


    image
    Report Reply
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    How do I decline the invite while getting the message across that a party won’t make up for their lack of consideration or care for my well-being?

    lol at the entitlement that your company exists to care for your well-being. 
    Report Reply
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    MyNameIsNot said:
    How do I decline the invite while getting the message across that a party won’t make up for their lack of consideration or care for my well-being?

    lol at the entitlement that your company exists to care for your well-being. 
    Also a sign that this person is likely working their first big adult job.  
    Report Reply
  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    levioosa said:
    I get plenty salty about a lot of shit, but I will never put it in writing and I still have to think long term. The other day there was a mass of layoffs in the company. The shit people (both the terminated and the still here) were posting on the Teams chat was both hilarious (and true) but also super risky and unprofessional. I had my popcorn out but I wasn't about to chime in with "yeah! We do need a union!" on the CEO managed group chat. 
    Funny story!  Long ago, I managed (asst. manager) a large gas station/convenience store.

    The hours were brutal and I finally had to quit, even though I didn't have another job lined up yet.  It actually wasn't the long hours that bothered me so much.  But the company had the same schedule for each management position, which meant there wasn't any flexibility.  I had to work a second shift on Friday nights.  That was the ONLY second shift that asst. managers worked during the week (major eyeroll).  But then still had to be there on Saturday for my o'dark:30 morning shift.  I'd be luck to get 4 hours of sleep on Friday.

    The manager at my store was a hot head.  Employees at his previous location had banned together and filed a lawsuit against the company because of his harassment.

    So obviously he was fired, RIGHT?  HAH!  He was transferred to my store, SMH.

    But back to the crux of what happened.  I walked in for my normal shift and asked to speak to him for a few minutes.  I told him the Fri./Sat. schedule issue (which I'd complained about to him, the previous manager, and the regional manager) had become too much and was negatively affecting my health.  I told him I was giving him my two weeks' notice and handed him my resignation letter.

    He blew up!  Screamed at me.  Told me I was fired (important point here).  Crumpled my letter and threw it on the ground.  Then stormed off to another area of the store. 

    I...uhhh...surreptitiously picked my letter back up.  Quickly shoved it into my purse.  Said good-bye to the other employees.  And went to the unemployment office!  Because I had just been fired without cause, lol.  Suck on that, Troy.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards